Just Keep Swimming

In the movie, Finding Nemo, Marlin (voiced by Albert Brooks), a timid clownfish who lives on Australia's Great Barrier Reef, sets off in search of his son, Nemo.  He's accompanied by Dory (voiced by Ellen DeGeneres), a blue tang fish who suffers from "short-term memory loss."

As Marlin and Dory go in search of Nemo, Dory encounters multiple sets of information that she cannot seem to remember.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DybifAhMA24&feature=related

In this clip, Dory has just met Marlin and quickly forgets meeting him or what that she was leading him to find a boat. While she does experience some memory loss, this is not a completely accurate movie because as the movie continues Dory begins to remember information such as who Marlin is or the fact that they are on a mission to find Marlin’s son. In a patient with complete short term memory loss, they would not be able to learn new information like Dory.

While she does begin to remember some things, there are at least two instances where Dory shows that she has implicit, if not explicit, long-term memory. At one point on their journey, Dory is cautioned to go through a trench, not over it.  Dory forgets this information, of course, but when they finally get to the trench she has the intuitive feeling that they should go through, not over.  Marlin overrules her, and they encounter a school of jellyfish.  The incident is reminiscent of Claparede's patient (http://www.fearexhibit.org/brain/memory/claparedes_pinprick_experiment), who forgets the experience but retained the knowledge that "Sometimes people hide pins in their hands". Later in the movie, when Dory finally encounters Nemo, she has of course forgotten all about him.  When she asks his name, he replies "Nemo", and she comments that "That's a nice name".  The incident is reminiscent of demonstrations by Johnson, Damasio, and others, that amnesic patients can acquire preferences through what Zajonc has called the mere exposure effect (http://changingminds.org/explanations/theories/mere_exposure.htm), even though they don't remember the exposures. All things considered, Dory is portrayed in an only somewhat accurate light. Although the research of Clarapede, Zajonc and others does show that memory in the form of intuitions can be gained by patients with memory loss, Dory shows conscious changes in memory and learns much too quickly for a real memory loss patient. Although at times she behaves much like H.M. (who we learned about in class) at others she picks up information quickly and is able to use it later on. This is especially prevalent in the latter half of the movie.

Blogginggggg.... umm I don't know what to say. College Apps are supposed to be freaking me out but somehow they aren't. I'm just stuck in the belief that the deadlines are still far away. I mean I guess that is partly true but I think I also want to stay with my friends forever and not have to worry about all the responsibility. Then again I can't wait to get out of my house and set my own schedule. I read a book recently...it made me think. In case you haven't noticed this is just random thoughts and I encourage you to waste time elsewhere. I keep seeing previews for this movie where the currency becomes time and you only have 25 years to spend. That seems like a really cool concept to me. Mock Trial team assignments come out tomorrow. I guess I'm a little nervous but I already found out what team I made. Turns out if you bug the right people long enough you can find out anything. Being in PSEO is weird. Sometimes I love it and other times I end up pounding my fist against the steering wheel because I'm so mad at the traffic and I just want to get back in time to go to some club or activity or whatever. Well I guess there isn't really anything else going on in my life except that Pavlovian conditioning totally works on cats. Or at least on my cat. Okay well that's all. Weird how no one spells out okay anymore isn't it? Well bye sorry for this!

Battle Dress

               My palms were sweating, my mind raced and my hands were shaking so badly you could hear the paper in them rustling. I was willing to give anything to be home and out of these dress shoes but I had to face my fear.

In tenth grade I joined my schools Mock Trial team after a friend begged me to come to one meeting. It seemed fun and I had plenty of time so I decided to give it a try. A few weeks in we had try-outs with an affidavit from the year before. We all had to try out as both witnesses and lawyers. At this point I had figured out that being a witness was way less stressful, involved little public speaking and was an overall smaller role. As someone who was terrified of public speaking I thought this would be the role for me. But after try-outs I was asked to join the team as a lawyer. I protested vehemently, explaining that I had no speaking skills, that it would be a disaster and they would regret it but my coaches were unrelenting.

                Throughout practices I began to learn what it meant to be a lawyer in court. I learned how to direct a witness and how to think on my feet to cross-examine an unknown peer. I got excited and felt powerful as I stood in front of my friends reciting my questions. I loved going to practice and worked on Mock Trial every chance I got; then competition season was upon us.

                On December 18^th I stood outside the school bus in my new court clothes. The coaches and my returning teammates kept calling it “battle dress” and I couldn’t see why. I made my way onto the bus and found a place to sit by a second year who always was ready to answer my questions and help me improve. As the trip got underway the bus came alive with the sounds of a court room. All around me teammates were practicing. Shouts of “I OBJECT!” came from both ends of the bus and I began to worry. I looked around and saw how impressive everyone was. They all knew what they were going to say and just how they were going to say it. How was I supposed to stand up next to them and even create coherent sentences? And then we were there.

                I dreaded every step we took towards the court room and every minute that passed. Opening statements were made. The first witness needed to be called. This was it. My hands were shaking, my mouth was dry, but then I remember what our attorney coach had told me, “Sami, something is inside of you that needs a chance to speak,” and I let that something take over. I delivered my questions with a searing intensity that nobody could miss and I felt on top of the world. My team didn’t win that trial, but I was a whole new person. Confidence rushed through my every vein and I was secure in my identity. I couldn’t wait for our next trial when I would get to stand up and show the other team how strong I was. I knew I would never be underestimated again and that’s when I knew why they call it battle dress. I had won the battle for freedom from my insecurity and I would never retreat. 

A Life of Instinct

On Friday, Professor Peterson talked about the idea of conscious versus unconscious behavior. He expressed the idea that most actions are actually unconscious however we have been conditioned to rationalize our behavior. Since we have the ability to communicate with others, we have been asked "Why did you do that?" But, what if we don't actually know because we do not consciously decide to act.

This question has been explored by investigating the behaviors and justifications made by people who have had their corpus callosum severed in their brains. This procedure is often done to remedy seizure issues or other localized brain damage but is always a last resort. After this procedure has been completed, most tasks are carried out naturally however, if stimuli only reach one side of the brain, considerable side-effects are noticed.  Someone who is shown a picture of a bird and an orange may be unaware of seeing the orange because it could not reach the left side of the brain where the ability to recognize objects is located. This same person when asked to draw what they had seen may still draw an orange if asked to do so with their left hand which only communicates with the right side of the brain.  

Dr. Gazzaniga’s Research with split brain patients.

                If conscious action is not what dictates one’s life, than what is free will? Does this mean humanity is reduced to a series of rationalized instincts? I believe that actions become unconscious due to learned behaviors. Much like Pavlovian conditioning, as a task is completed repeatedly, we no longer need to consciously think about our actions because we’ve done it so many times before. Under this mindset, conscious action is still very real but the human brain simply becomes more efficient over time much like long-term potentiation. Once the brain has learned a task it no longer requires conscious attention to execute it. As the concept is investigated further, more answers will be uncovered, but I, for one, will always believe that I am in conscious control of my own life. Otherwise what’s the point?

Once you listen to a song 794 times why do you keep listening? There must be a reason. Can the reason change? Or are you scared of change? Comfort doesn't seem like much of a reason. It must be more.

Apparently there aren't enough atoms in the observable universe to count up to the number of the oldest imaginable thing in the universe...
-Brian Cox for more

Don't get mad

I know this will upset people and others will think I want a reaction, but none of that is my intention. My intention is simply to type. To put things out there for myself to help me deal with it. So the point of this is religion. (Please stop reading now if this will offend or upset you) I was born and raised a hell and brimstone Catholic. I went to a Catholic school with nuns and church every Wednesday. I made some good friends and believed it all in the beginning but by the end of my time there I questioned what they taught me. I didn't understand how God could be loving and forgiving and the Bible would say things like if you disobey your parents you'll burn in Hell forever. So I moved to a public school and my faith really dropped off. Not being around Christians all the time and going to church much less probably had a lot to do with it. I went through the motions and got confirmed but I didn't believe any of it. I got to the point where it all just seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. I had moments where I could barely stop myself from laughing out loud at some of the things I heard. I now argue with my mother who is a deeply devoted Catholic. I can't understand her views on things like gay marriage, stem cell research or abortion. I know that in theory she feels she is following her faith, but I can't follow a faith like that. One that allows so much pain and suffering that can be easily solved by modern technology. I've reached a point where I don't look down on those with faith. I envy their ability to believe without seeing but I pity the flaws they so blindly seem to accept. I'm sure I don't really understand Christianity so if anyone wants to explain what I've got wrong I'd be glad to hear from you (but could we please keep it a conversation and not a judgement). Religion makes no sense to me, but for those it does that's fine too. I wouldn't try to convince you but don't make the "I'll pray for you" comments. They're as much of an insult as anything I could hurl at you.