Don't get mad

I know this will upset people and others will think I want a reaction, but none of that is my intention. My intention is simply to type. To put things out there for myself to help me deal with it. So the point of this is religion. (Please stop reading now if this will offend or upset you) I was born and raised a hell and brimstone Catholic. I went to a Catholic school with nuns and church every Wednesday. I made some good friends and believed it all in the beginning but by the end of my time there I questioned what they taught me. I didn't understand how God could be loving and forgiving and the Bible would say things like if you disobey your parents you'll burn in Hell forever. So I moved to a public school and my faith really dropped off. Not being around Christians all the time and going to church much less probably had a lot to do with it. I went through the motions and got confirmed but I didn't believe any of it. I got to the point where it all just seemed absolutely ridiculous to me. I had moments where I could barely stop myself from laughing out loud at some of the things I heard. I now argue with my mother who is a deeply devoted Catholic. I can't understand her views on things like gay marriage, stem cell research or abortion. I know that in theory she feels she is following her faith, but I can't follow a faith like that. One that allows so much pain and suffering that can be easily solved by modern technology. I've reached a point where I don't look down on those with faith. I envy their ability to believe without seeing but I pity the flaws they so blindly seem to accept. I'm sure I don't really understand Christianity so if anyone wants to explain what I've got wrong I'd be glad to hear from you (but could we please keep it a conversation and not a judgement). Religion makes no sense to me, but for those it does that's fine too. I wouldn't try to convince you but don't make the "I'll pray for you" comments. They're as much of an insult as anything I could hurl at you.