Expectations

So there are a lot of expectations of a lot of different things placed on a wide variety of people. Teenagers have to deal with this the most. Everyone expects something from us and we don't even know what to expect from ourselves. Parents expect grades to be good, rules to be followed and attitudes to rival the brightness of the sun when all we want is some freedom to understand who we will become. Teachers expect blind belief and perfect completion of all assignments, tests, and "learning activities" when we are just searching for our own truths hoping to have our own time. There are tons of expectations put on us but the one that flies under the radar is the expectations we have for ourselves.


I definitely fit the phrase "you are your own harshest critic." I not only expect but demand perfect grades, extracurricular involvement, flawless plans for the future, and social acceptance. To achieve these things I slowly gave up the "just for funs" and "good enoughs" that others pushed on me and decided I would do better; but through this process of reaching my elusive perfection I lost who I am and forgot who I want to be. Even worse when I do have fun or I don't reach my goals I end up feeling guilty. Guilty for hanging out with my friends, guilty for getting an A-, when rationally I know I'm just being a normal teenager.


So who am I? I guess I'll have to think about that and get back to you.